"Perhaps the failure was mine — I’m sure many church members see it that way. I was too weak to endure. They’ll say I should have waited another decade, or spent my whole life alone if that’s what God required.
I’m just unwilling to believe that’s what God wants for anyone, and was unwilling to continue spiraling further into a disconnected life, feeling abandoned, being discounted."
I couldn't agree more. While I don't really believe in a G!d that is so intertwined in our daily lives, if G!d is actually involved in our match making, I can not fathom s/he would want anyone to be single (who doesn't want to be). As much as I accomplish in my life, I can't help but feel my life is still completely unfulfilled because I haven't found my basherit. I'm nearing 27 and am seeming to be eternally single. I'm trying to make the most out of my life: being a family member, a friend, an activist, a community member, a (future) healer; trying my hardest to be content with my lot. But, I can not help but wonder if I'm destined to spend my life single... and if I do spend my life single, what will that mean for my standing in the religious community? A community that is totally built on family life and procreation. I need to put these thoughts on hold for now though as I go back to studying for tomorrow morning's exam!
1 comment:
My mother met my father (Z"L) when she was 29. (Forever 29.) He was 38. Love will find you or you will find it when you least expect it. Hang in there! You are a very sweet and intelligent person, and for sure you have a bashers who is missing out on this.
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