The flip side

Since last posting I've moved apartments, progressed to a 3rd year medical student, and gained a year on my age. I surpassed Step 1 and now am just praying that I passed as I patiently wait for my score. I've also passively watched as state governments have chipped away more and more on abortion access. It seems that as I get closer to my role of a comprehensive reproductive health care provider, reproductive health care becomes more and more restricted.

This week [after passover ends] I'll be in 2 different states: flying to one state for a national leadership retreat and then to another to present a poster of my summer research. When I return, next Tuesday, I begin my clinical rotations!!! So I have until next Tuesday to learn how to keep my [very] liberal views to myself as I gain on the job training from superiors...

pesach sameach!

Taking a very quick break from step 1 cramming to share this pesach video with you. It is cute. Totally worth the 2 minutes.

Pesach sameach! Next time I post, it'll be after step 1...

Time to get serious!

I deactivated my facebook account and put up a vacation message on my gmail account. The final stretch to Step 1 is bringing with it a new level of commitment. I don't want to look back with any regrets and say "if only I had spent less time [insert blank] and more time studying I could have been a dermatologist*".

*Note: I have no actual desire to be a dermatologist, just a desire to match in a competitive city in not such a competitive specialty. I have nothing against dermatology and dermatologists though!

Assuming no major life changing moments occur while in my study hole, this will also conclude my blogging until post-exam. See you on the flip side! (G!d willing I survive to see the flip side.)

2 weeks

Step 1 in the morning followed by liberation from Egypt after dark. All in a days work, right? Very much looking forward to the 4 cups of freedom!

Exhausted and terrified

2 days of 2nd year cumulative shelf exams equating 342 questions over 8 hours of testing, plus receiving my score from last Friday's NBME step 1 predictive exam mean that I am COMPLETELY exhausted and absolutely terrified about the coming weeks. I already feel burnt out and possibly a little manic. Scared I'm not going to pass step 1. Worried the score I want is simply unattanable at this point. Fearing that 19 days is not enough time to learn all that I need to, yet, that postponing my date wont help either. Feeling totally helpless and overwhelmed, somewhat like when I was a small child and feared that a low grade on a spelling or math test would keep me out of college...

I need a nap.

Plan C

Since I already have my Plan B (to open a kosher gluten free bakery), today I decided on my Plan C for if this whole medical school thing doesn't pan out. I'll get a master/phd is policy and/or education and work on reforming medical education. I got in a long discussion with our Dean of Education today about the discourse between students perceived value of curriculum design and the actual value. Seeing as I'm more successful in these conversations than I currently am in step 1 studying, I'm thinking Plan C isn't such a bad one... really, I'll do anything to not study!

And for comic relief, here are "the 10 types of physician bloggers" from A Cartoon Guide to Becoming a Doctor.

Stereotypical medicine

Earlier this year I went to a discussion on the disservice stereotypes play in the practice of medicine. The speaker told a poignant story about a kid showing up to the ER with a classic presentation of sickle cell crisis, but the diagnosis alluded the physicians because the child was white, leading to this boy's untimely demise. While my retelling of the story is overly simplistic, the moral is spot-on. We stereotype in medicine. We stereotype a LOT. Our entire first 2 years of medical education is learning stereotype after stereotype. The most popular example of them all (thanks to "House) is that a young female with anything wrong = lupus. A classmate recently sent out a glorified list in the form of a blog post he found. Almost as good as the food pathology list that a professor sent out earlier this year.

I don't know what the answer to all of this is. The liberal arts educated activist in me wants to do away with all stereotypes, with anything that could risk labeling someone. There is so much potential damage from stereotypes and assumptions, especially when someones health is on the line! The Ashkenazi Jew in me is grateful that I can be screened for a plethora of diseases, and also to have an idea of what I may be at higher risk for. Lastly, my medical student persona is REALLY grateful to be able to learn a full clinical picture while studying for STEP 1, glad to have points of association and clues to look for in questions stems. My challenge is going to be learning the stereotypes in order to learn the diseases but then forgetting the clinical picture enough that it doesn't put blinders on my [future] diagnostic ability.