An eye for an eye? Really?! Are we still doing this?

Yes, I understand that the bible literally tells us that an eye for an eye is justified. But since when do we take every line of the bible seriously? And aren't we supposed to be living in a country free of religious persecution? Isn't that what US laws are supposed to be about; protecting our civil rights without imposing religious doctrine on us?

Without using the biblical concept of an "eye for an eye", how can one institute laws on justifiable homicide? (Or for that matter, capital punishment, which like most leftist liberals I am against.) Or maybe it is just that the legislators in South Dakota are just complete and totally out of their minds. How else can you explain this, a bill that allows for murder of abortion providers.

Let us revisit this: an abortion provider is a doctor who goes against all odds to get her* training in the first place. She fights against her med school administration to learn how to preform a safe and legal medical procedure, ignores the comments from her peers and faculty that it isn't worth her time, and takes ownership of her own fears about what being a provider might mean. She struggles to find a job that will allow her to even perform abortions (as many large group practices and corporate hospitals would rather not get involved with all that), pays higher malpractice insurance (because that is how insurance companies work), and has to put up with much bureaucratic BS of sonograms, waiting periods, and the rest, in-order to simply do a small facet of her job as a health care provider. Depending on where she lives and practices, she might have to crawl through windows to get into work, disguise herself in wigs, wear a bullet proof vest, face protesters and hate mail, and convince her small children that no matter what some of the other kids at school are saying she's really not a "baby killer". The best part is that she does this all because she believes in the healthcare of women. She takes her medical oath seriously and believes that all patients are entitled to quality, safe, and accessible health care. She knows that no woman makes decisions about reproduction lightly. She wants to do everything she can to empower women about their own bodies. She understands that we live in an unfair and unjust society and will do everything she personally can to combat that. She wants to be able to look her grandmothers and daughters in the eye and say "I know how hard women have been fighting for their own rights, lives, bodies, and I will continue the fight until there is fully equality." She doesn't think she's a hero. She knows she is simply doing what she was trained to do: take care of people's emotional and physical health.

(*Of course, there are MANY male providers too, and he would be going through exactly the same thing.)

So now, these lovely legislators in South Dakota are saying that it is justifiable to murder this hard-working and compassionate doctor for simply doing her job. Anyone else see a problem? To make matters worse, it is not just these fine folk from South Dakota that are out of their cherry-picking minds. It seems our elected officials in DC are behaving in a similarly problematic way. I got the following e-mail today from MSFC (who borrowed it from an ARHP email) regarding the current anti-abortion/women's health legislation currently on the floor:

"*Title X Abortion Provider Prohibition Act (H.R. 217)- Rep. Mike Pence (R-Ind.) has introduced this measure which would devastate Planned Parenthood and other similar groups by denying Title X federal family-planning funds to groups that offer any form of abortion access—even when it is not government funded. By attempting to attach this bill to the FY 2011 Continuing Resolution, Title X opponents would prohibit any agencies—like Planned Parenthood and all State health programs—that perform abortions or provide any funding to an entity that performs abortions from receiving any federal funding.
*No Taxpayer Funding For Abortion Act (H.R. 3)– While current law already bars federal money from being used to directly pay for abortions, Rep. Chris Smith (R-NJ) has proposed this bill that would deny tax credits and benefits to employers who offer health insurance to their staff if that coverage includes abortion access.
*Protect Life Act (H.R. 358)- Federal law currently requires hospitals receiving Medicaid or Medicare funding to provide emergency care to all individuals, regardless of the patient's ability to pay. If the facility can't provide the necessary care, it must transfer the patient to someone who can. This bill, introduced by Rep. Joe Pitts (R-Pa.), would allow hospitals to turn away women who need to terminate a pregnancy in order to save their own lives.

Additionally, the Republicans on the hill want to completely eliminate Title X funding through their budget cut proposal. In this budget cut, they also want to slash the budget for programs like WIC and other community programs."

So what do we do? Do we simply sit back and let them poke our eyes out? Or are we going to finally stand up and say enough is enough. Let us not repeat the fights of our mothers and grandmothers. Let us not sit blindly back as they strip us of control over our own bodies. Call your legislators. Talk to your friends. Take a stand. VOTE! Do something, damn it! Otherwise, I'm moving somewhere civilized, with socialized medicine and freedom of choice.

Accepting mediocrity, part 2

... and then there are the days where even being mediocre would be lovely. Shit. Trying to remember how poorly I did on my first practice MCAT but then managed to score high enough on the real thing to get into med school on the first go-around. Breath. I still have 2 months and 3 days until the real thing. Plenty of time to relearn* all of the last 2 years of basic sciences, right?

*To say "relearn" implies that I actually learned it the first time around; "learn" might be a better word choice.

Accepting mediocrity

This morning I took my last department written exam of 2nd year pathology. The completion of this exam is making it very apparent how quickly my pre-clinical years are coming to an end. My first 2 years of medical school have taught me one thing in particular: how to accept mediocrity. I am far from the top of my class, and likely not even in the top 1/2 of my class. I am a total mediocre, completely average, yet well rounded medical student. What I have learned though is that p=md and that spending time to be a complete person is important in becoming a well-rounded and humane doctor. Because I am only average, and not superwoman, I can't save the world if I don't take care of myself.

Tomorrow morning I plan to take a half-length mock STEP 1. While getting a completely mediocre score on it is more than acceptable, especially seeing as I have 2 more months to study, I pray that my score is at least mediocre. My goal: simple to pass this time around. If I pass tomorrow the next 2 months will be challenging but bearable, but if I don't? I guess that I'll cross that bridge if I have to...

My new goal:

is to either do a marathon (at least half) or triathalon by the time I graduate from med school... A bunch of my classmates ran this morning and made me realize how much I WANT TO DO IT TOO! I want to be that cool! I'm totally falling for peer pressure, as well as a desire to do something substantial while creeping through my education.

The complication is that I'm very much a swimmer and not a runner. I'm not quiet sure how to breath on land! When to start, where to start?

health-privilege

Yesterday a few of my friends had the following posts on their facebook wall which got me thinking:

"I am asking if everyone could please put this as your status for one hour if you or someone you love has diabetes. I know my family will, my prayer is that in 2011 a cure will be found. Will you post it? Just for one hour. Do it for all of us in memory of too many to mention and in honor of all fighting it! I hope to see this on your status today."

Then, a pretty frustrating conversation with a classmate about the way people handle chronic conditions made me realize how little the medical profession actually KNOWS about living with chronic conditions. Especially invisible chronic conditions. But in all fairness, it is impossible to explain to someone what living with such a condition does to you. Sure, the disease/condition doesn't define you; but it is also naive to think that it isn't a huge part of someones identity (even if you are someone who pretends this to not be the case). I don't know what it means to be a naive 20-something with health-privilege just as they don't know my perspective; but they sure as hell shouldn't judge me or project their expectations for the appropriate way to handle it.

My diabetes and celiac define me as much as being Jewish and queer do. They are just as much my identity as where I am from, my family structure, or the time I wandered away with my my brother at age 4. My morning routine: I wake up, shower, brush my teeth, check my blood sugar, pack lunch, take insulin, eat breakfast. When I eat out? I don't eat un-kosher food nor do I eat gluten. Sure, I could live my life as if I didn't have diseases, but I'm pretty sure that I wouldn't be as healthy as I currently am or be able to invest all of this time and energy into becoming a doctor. That wouldn't be good for anyone involved...

I'm sorry if the way that I handle my life, along with all of my uniqueness, upsets you. I'm sorry if my being open about my chronic, yet invisible, conditions offends you. I'm sorry if you think I'd be better off not making them part of my identity. However, I personally think you'd be better off letting me live my life the best way I know how.

career counseling

In the few months leading up to Step 1 (and 3rd year clinical rotations) there are a bunch of hurdles that my medical students makes all 2nd years run through. Besides learning the computer system, getting another TB test, taking an official standardized patient exam, etc., we also have to have a career counseling session. These sessions were billed as "a half an hour opportunity to sit down with a dean". We were sent a long form to fill out and bring to the session with us.

Turns out that the half an hour session about our future was really a nine minute psych consult. A glorified opportunity to make sure that we're not about to jump off the building nor totally oblivious to our quickly approaching destiny. He asked me how I was eating and sleeping, what my study plan is, and how I am feeling about it all. He then continued by giving me advice for 3rd year. His advice? Come in prepared, be nice to everyone, show that you care, don't slack on any of the rotations including the ones you aren't interested in. Do people not know this?! It seems so logical!

In other news, I am feeling totally unmotivated by our current academic block. Turns out that living a life of endocrinology pathology translates to complete study apathy. I really need to tap into my 20+ years of endocrinology experience, and soon.

The torch has been passed

As of today, I have officially handed off all of my extra-curricular activities. I'm super excited to see the first year students step into these roles. They are so excited, energized, and idealistic! I have no doubt that they will do wonderful things in their short stint as leaders and will heavily influence the crop of medical students that come in after them (class of 2015).

Now comes my biggest commitment yet: step 1 studying! Though I am presenting at 2 different academic conferences between now and when I take step 1; I sill have a non-boards centered outlet. But first, I think I will enjoy med prom this weekend.